Review of Noob Energy Drinks: Sweet Tooth, Clutchen Kiwi, and Citrus Burst

Today, Kevin and I are diving into a taste test of Noob energy drinks. We have three flavors on hand: Sweet Tooth, Clutchen Kiwi, and Citrus Burst, each priced at $2.99 at the Vitamin Shoppe. With 175 milligrams of caffeine per can, these drinks pack quite a punch—roughly the equivalent of three cups of coffee.

First up is Sweet Tooth, which features a picture of a strawberry and whipped cream on the can. It’s sugar-free, gluten-free, vegan-friendly, and made in the USA. The drink promises energy, focus, mood enhancement, and endurance, all at zero calories. Manufactured by Loot Corp in Oradell, New Jersey, the branding is clearly targeted at gamers, evident from the game-themed design, including a mouse cursor icon on the can.

Upon opening, the scent of tart strawberries wafts out. The flavor, however, is underwhelming. It tastes like you had a piece of strawberry candy a while ago, leaving a tart essence without any sweetness. If you enjoy sugary, syrupy drinks, this might not be for you. Sweet Tooth lacks the depth and sweetness many look for in an energy drink, making it rather unremarkable compared to others on the market.

Next, we tried Clutchen Kiwi, which features images of melon and strawberry. This flavor has 10 calories per can, suggesting it might be a bit sweeter than Sweet Tooth.

The initial taste is surprising—it's more reminiscent of peach than kiwi. The flavor feels natural, unlike the candy-like taste of many other energy drinks. While it has a fresh fruit taste, it lacks the expected sweetness, making it less appealing to those who prefer sugary drinks. It’s a decent flavor but doesn’t stand out, especially considering it doesn't deliver on the kiwi promise.

Finally, we sampled Citrus Burst, which showcases blueberries, lemon, and lime on the can, and also has 10 calories.

This flavor starts off promising with a candy-like taste, but the experience quickly declines. It leaves a drying sensation in the mouth and a slightly funky aftertaste. Initially, it has a lemon-lime flavor, but the blueberry is notably absent. Among the three, Citrus Burst is the best, yet it still falls short of being a top-tier energy drink. Its candy-like quality doesn't last, leaving behind a flat, unappealing aftertaste.

The standout feature of Noob energy drinks is their eye-catching can design, which might draw in customers initially. However, the flavors themselves are lackluster and fail to deliver a memorable experience. Given the competitive market and the $3 price tag, there are many better options available at retailers like Walmart and Kroger. Even if these drinks go on sale, their lack of sweetness and overall mediocre taste make them hard to recommend.

In conclusion, while the packaging might entice you to try Noob energy drinks once, the flavors likely won’t bring you back for a second purchase. If you're used to sweeter, more flavorful energy drinks, these might leave you disappointed. Thanks for tuning into our review. Stay tuned for a picture at the end.